Rodney, the security guard/oracle.

“Is this your first time?” is the absolute best first question he could have asked us. Our guide of the local museum was a middle aged man from Surinam who liked to talk but didn’t listen. We politely explained that it was indeed our first time and that we hoped, but also expected that it would be the only time as well.We were in the museum to see what it was like as a location for the wedding.

He offered to show us the restaurant and the old chapel of the former monastery that houses the museum. Not only did he kindly show us around, he also gave us sage advice about getting married and marriage itself. “You have to just tell everyone: F*&k you” I’m doing this my own way, you know” Don’t let other people tell you what to do. I wanted to high five him, but refrained.

Lucky I did because he followed it up with “It easy for women because men only want two things out of marriage and that is good food and…the bed, if you know what I mean. Am I right? Am I right?”

I guessed so. Nonetheless, he was making my day. As he led us into the garden he told us his ideas. “You could have a gigantic marquee going all the way across the lawn and a Big ol’ live band. Of course you could take all you’re own food and just have a massive meal and everything. He made it sound great I almost wanted to marry him.

On our way back to the reception we met R. the hostess of the Restaurant who’s job it is to give couples a tour of the museum as a wedding location. This was the woman we should have met in the first place. So when we explained that Rodney, or whatever that man’s name was had already done it, she flashed hm the dirtiest of looks. He mumbled “I can also do that” and scuttled off.

R. continued to give us some additional information. As it turns out they have a partnering caterer for weddings who asks fixed prices. And the walls of the 400 year old building are too fragile for loud music. In other words most of what Rodney had told us was false. Too bad really, I liked him much better than the woman.

The crazies from the internet, They exist in real life and work two minutes walking from my house! What a start.

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