10 Things you will not see at the wedding

This is a list of things I expect not to see at our wedding. It’s in no particular order and fairly random. They are not rules, just things that came to mind.

1. (Wild) animals.
That means no cats or dogs, no rodants, no cattle, none of the big five. Birds maybe, I’m not Mao.

2. Bits.
So no songs, no sketches, no amature theatre, no ABC’s no slide shows, no conceptual art, no flash mobs. Good old fashioned speeches however will be plentiful.

3. Wingeing.
Things like: “I’m tired”, “I’m hungry/thirsty”, “I don’t know anybody”, “This music is terrible”, “That dress is hideous.”
It’s going to be great, if you find yourself to be unhappy, we will make it otherwise. Understand?

4. Jeans.
We don’t know anyone called Jean certainly not two. If you hear anybody calling themselves Jean have them removed, they are wedding crashers. Also, denim is frowned upon at weddings.

5. Wedding crashers.
Jean or otherwise. Unless they are Vince Vaughn and/or Owen Wilson.

6. Rain.
Or percipitation of any other kind. (fingers crossed, starting….now!)

7. Knights.
It may be that we get married at an old ‘castle’, and I did see some armour but come on now, let’s not get our hopes up.

8. Pancakes.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve had pancakes at a wedding before and it sucked. No deal.

9. Royalty.
I think… You never know with our heritage. Let’s wait and see.

10. Terry Tate: Office Linebacker.
Sadly Terry is not on the guest list to enforce decorum. We are having trouble narrowing things down as it is, but if he somehow shows up, my new favorite office-based character is welcome to raise a glass in celebration at the reception.

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2 gedachtes over “10 Things you will not see at the wedding

  1. Ditte zegt:

    I’ll bring a date who is at the very least knighted, but preferably royal. And if that doesn’t work out, I’ll be escorted by a racoon. Is that ok?

    And we were already practising our bits before you even thought of proposing, so no luck there, either.

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